So here I am 7 years later. In 2009, I decided that I no longer wanted to go through the torture of relaxers, so I started my Natural Hair Journey: Who knew that starting my natural hair journey was just the catalyst for my awakening and continual evolving to my self discovery and Holistic Journey!
I went from being an actual Eyecandy model and wanting to be the next Vida Guerra / Melissa Ford/ mixed with Beyonce (they were popping eye-candy models back in my high school and early college days and Beyonce is Beyonce) to embracing and getting to know my true, naked self. I started to strip away all of the programming, autopilot responses, mainstream definitions of sexy, other people's opinions, the must have weaves, and the everyday makeup/mask. Being naked was uncomfortable and very challenging.
(I will talk about this process on another post, but I'll stay on this topic for now so stay tuned).
I can say it was so worth it. I spent time isolating myself and getting to know who I am by listening to my true thoughts and feelings for myself; not the egoistical and fake confidence I displayed to others. I had a false sense self love and I realized that I was not comfortable and content with who I was. I barely even knew myself and what I truly looked like. I was not comfortable unless I had makeup, weaves, sexy clothing, etc.......( you fill in the blank).
I spent time on me. I redefined my own beauty, re-birthing myself and learning to live life on my terms, my way. I set my own rules and boundaries and started to truly love myself. I got use to self and self expression and built my own relationship with self and God.
I refuse to let anyone define or set limitations on my life unless I agree to do so myself. I am awake and continually awakening/learning. I truly feel alive and it feels so liberating and Free. Years of over processing my hair with relaxers, heat, over-styling and not caring for my hair, but continually styling and manipulating it caused my hair to struggle from middle school all the way up to 2008. I suffered emotionally and physically through all the hair abuse and trauma. I even realize looking back that I continued the brainwashed abuse and trauma when I got to college. I didn't even have access to a personal stylist, so I couldn't blame anyone else but myself.
I started my hair journey back in 2009 and decided to share it on my modeling Facebook page, YouTube channel and forums. This was a few years before the beautiful trending twist-out and fros, big chop or should I say the wonderful #NaturalHair movement broke the internet. I had a good old Fotki account and was on hair forums such as K.I.S.S. ( Keep It Simple Sista) and utilized YouTube and Facebook pages to document and share my unknown journey, never thought it would help and encourage others to do the same and step into their own until I was getting emailed and DM'd about other women's troubles, stories, and pleas for help.
At this time I was a full-time college student. Blogging and YouTube was my best friend /hobby and I always had a passion for hair. Since the age of 12, I had gotten so good at styling hair that I had my own clients. I got so accustomed to doing hair instead of playing outside, I was booked and getting paid working in and out of salons. I knew little to nothing about proper hair care, but was great at styling. Remember the Alicia Keys cornrows and crazy braids, pixie braids, and sew-ins? You name it, I did it.
So in 2008, after I discovered there was a secret underground hair community, I began learning and digging on the internet as well as inside myself to unlearn what we had been taught in terms of what to think of ourselves and our hair. Then I started to discover a new me through trial and error, the stories of other women, and of course my own. It took me some years to truly get to know my own hair because I became obsessed and caught up with wanting the hair other women had and hoping my hair would be at my dream length overnight. I did my research (trust me) and knew a lot of the science about hair, hair care and styling. I just failed at committing myself to pour into my own hair, like I was doing with my clients. I was all over the place with products, inconsistent hair regimens and internet lurking on my hair crushes doing and using any and everything they did in their new videos. I can imagine that all of the information out there is even more overwhelming today.
When I was younger I was told I didn't have "good hair", subconsciously programmed to hate myself. The media and other people around me made me feel like I lacked, was less than, and needed something outside of myself to feel good. I am sure we all have felt this way to a certain degree and altered our natural state of mind and texture to fit society's standards. I had this shield and false since of confidence with a persona that wasn't even my own. I didn't even know that I was so out of touch with myself and I failed to question of it. We were trained and programmed to be ashamed of our texture and features. I was even attacked because I wasn't "black enough" or "dark enough" or talked or carried myself a certain way, but that's another story for another time. Staying focus on hair now.
Life took me on a journey and I have struggled, learned, grown and achieved so much on a spiritual, mental and physical level. It is truly humbling, exciting, and amazing to experience and look back on. I am currently 27 years old, a Mother of 2 Beautiful children (Boy 2 yrs old and Girl 5 months) , Soon to be Wife, Business Owner aka Mompreneur, Plant Base Eater/Vegan , Naturalista, Hair Coach, Sungazer, Mediator, Holistic Advocate, and Motivational Speaker.
I am here to inspire and help others to become their greatest version and become self-empowered and continually grow.
So this isn't just a hair blog, this is about...
- Plant-Based Eating
- My public diaries/life stories
- Childhood Abuse/Trauma/Recovering Process
- Healthy Living/Wellness
- Self growth/self-empowerment
- Family life
- Triumph/ struggles
- Holistic Lifestyle
- Natural Hair Journey
- Natural Lifestyle
- Becoming my greatest version & More
I choose to share my experiences, my knowing, my story, tips, and more. I feel like we are all here to share and express our knowings and talents and we can do that if we take sometime to stop judging and letting our differences and dogmatic beliefs stand in the way of what we truly came to do which is to live, experience, express and expand.
I know by subscribing to my blog or following me on my social media it will have a positive impact on you if you allow it to and take something from this that will help better yourself in your life or at the very least relate or be entertained. Again, like I said earlier: Who knew that starting my natural hair journey was just the catalyst for my awakening and continual evolving to my self discovery and Holistic Journey.
I AM BACK, STAY TUNED...